So it might be the hormones. It might be general crankiness. I don't know. But I had a crying moment today because I felt like a failure as a mom. Nothing major happened today, it's just that I felt ineffective, and as if I were a failure. Everytime I told my son to do something, it was like I was talking to a brick wall. I kept getting frusterated. I never got angry, just frustrated. But my frustration was enough to make me cry.
Hethan is regressing in some ways, and I don't know what to do about it. I know that it's in part because we have good friends visiting with a younger child. And ok, that's reasonable. But do you think he's already acting out because of the new baby, still 7 months away? Or is it just normal 3 year old ness? You know, here I am, a degree in Early Childhood Education, part way towards my Master's in Special Education, working with 4 and 5 year olds, and I can't even figure out my own child!!! What's wrong with this picture? Why can't I?? Why do I suck as a mother? What is wrong with ME? And here I am, going to have another child? What the hell was I thinking? If I can't even like the one child I have sometimes, how will I cope with two of them?
Anyhow. I'm just a little discouraged today. Just a little down. Just a little though. I guess I'll get better.