Friday, February 17, 2006


A long time ago, waaaay back in September, I wrote about Dreams Deferred, which, for us, was our dream of adding to our family. And the next month, I got pregnant, and the Dream came true. Sometimes it seemed as if it were a Bad Dream , what with the puking and tiredness, and then the wondering if I REALLY wanted a second child. But it was our Dream and ultimately, it was something we were willing and glad to go through, to get to the happily ever after part of the Dream.

Then the Dream became a Nightmare, when we discovered that our baby was not compatible with life. That was three weeks ago, that the Nightmare began. I wish I could get back to the Dream. And Nightmares must end, because the Dream continues, right? There might be new additions to the Dream, or changes in direction of the Dream, but it must continue, and it can't remain a Nightmare, right?

We're starting that changing process in the Nightmare. We are having a Memorial Service this Sunday at 11. I hope that the service will be a time of healing, and a time to start waking up from the Nightmare, to moving back to the Dream. I don't think our Dream is the same as it was 7 months ago. But that's ok. Dreams change, people change, and we make the best of it, because just being out of the Nightmare is a relief.

I wish everyone read Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. Then I could talk about the Dream World, Tel'aran'rhiod, and you would all understand the analogy. Time passes differently, things change with your thoughts... I wish that could be the case here.

Dream or Nightmare, we will make it through.

Thanks for the title, dear friend.


Misfit Hausfrau said...

I will be thinking of the three of you.

Always Ashley said...

Luke 7:13

And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not.

My "favorite" verse. Whenever things get to be too much-when I am crying so hard I can't *breathe*, I remember this and imagine Jesus taking my face in his hands, looking me in the eyes, and saying "Child, weep not." And then I feel an amazing sense of peace... that THE LORD has compassion on us, and doesn't want us to cry, and that He's here to comfort us.


Chad Burdette said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Chad Burdette said...

Unfortunaly I can't be there on Sunday but I will think of you guys and pray for you all at that time.

(that is me who deleted the above comment)

Mom said...

Even nightmares must end. And the sun DOES come back out again. And winter DOES eventually turn into spring, summer, fall and yes, winter again. But spring IS coming daughter. I wish I could be there for the memorial, you know I will be in my heart. The ice, be it in your heart, or as the icicle hanging from the roof, does melt, albeit 1 drip at a time. (Praise be to God!) You can start marking each day as one day closer to spring now...A daffodil was in bloom today in Mom's front garden. And you have taken the first steps toward the rest of your life. I know I always say to get off your tiptoes, but now is the time to start bouncing a little bit, kinda like Tigger :), so stay on your toes my precious one... life is about to take off again, and i KNOW you don't want to miss the flight. :)

Dana said...

...thinking of you...

Lisa said...

I emailed you Friday night... I dunno if you got it.

**I love you!**


The June Cleaver Diaries said...

Thinkning of you all.

By the way, can your mom adopt me?