stands for "tired of being pregnant." It's true. Right now, I am. For those of you who have read my blog for a long time--- do you realize that I have been pregnant for over a year now? Ok, not with one kid, but you know what I mean. I was pregnant with Henry last October. Lost him in February. By June, I was unexpectedly pregnant again. Here it is November 2006 and I'm STILL pregnant! I'm going to grump for a minute, and if you don't want to read it, fine.
My back hurts. I can't sleep comfortably. If I appease my back ache when I sleep, I end up with a sore shoulder and hip area. If I surround myself with pillows at night for support, there is no room for my husband in bed with me. If I move to the guest room or the futon, I feel a bit guilty for abandoning the bedroom.
My ribs hurt on the right side. Not only that, but my skin is ultra sensitive and tender right where my ribs hurt. Almost as if Baby Girl is bruising me from within. Sharp shooting pains started in this area on Thanksgiving night, and are now intermittent, causing me to gasp and nearly cry.
My feet are swollen.
My body has already started producing milk and is leaking profusely. Wait, my body never STOPPED producing from when I delivered Henry.
I am constantly hungry, but never really in the mood to eat things that are good for me.
I am nearly 27 weeks along, and have at least 10-11 more weeks to go before my C section.
Everyone tells me I look great-- there are people who can't tell I'm pregnant when I'm not wearing maternity clothing-- but my ass feels huge, my face is splotchy, my stomach is white with blue veins, my toenails are atrocious, and I just feel downright ugly. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see the lady from Steel Magnolias who looked like she had two pigs in a poke fighting around her middle--- you know, the one who needed a girdle?? That's me!
Please don't misunderstand. I'm thrilled to overflowing about having this baby. She's a blessing, a miracle, an example of God's grace and timing... but right now I just want my body back. I want the body I was toning and shaping and feeding before I unexpectedly got pregnant. I want to not crave stupid sugary things like Sugar Daddys, cinnamon sugar tortilla chips, Fritos (which I HATE), Lucky Charms marshmallows.... I want to be attracted to the fresh fruits and veggies that I used to love and now can't bring myself to eat because they give me indigestion or worse. I want to be able to wear clothing that doesn't have stupid spandex in it! Why the heck do clothes makers think that all pregnant women want stretchy clothing??? ARGH!!!
I want to be able to pick up my Ethan without hurting myself. I want to be able to ride my bike with my kid on gorgeous days like today, without fearing damage to my body. I want to wear my old size bra with no pain. Yeah, like that's happening ever again!!! :):):)
Ok. Griping off. I'm going to go graze for food. I have veggies and dip to munch on... but I also have left over cherry crisp.... the decisions, the decisions!