Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Toilets and Floors
It is a little past two weeks post partum. I seem to remember this mood hitting at about the same time with the Hethan. Blue. Blue. Blue.
Oh, I'm functioning fine. That's the thing. I'm not quite normal. When others are blue, they have a hard time getting showered, getting things done around the house, etc. Not me. I have the cleanest damn bathrooms in the state. Hethan just used the bathroom and said, "The bathroom smells so clean, Mommy!" And the frickin floor couldn't be cleaner if I'd gotten down on my hands and knees and wiped it clean. Oh wait! I did! My sink doesn't have a dirty dish in it, and laundry is getting thrown down the chute nightly.
And anger--- why am I feeling anger along with these post partum blues? Not anger at Starbuck--- hell, my heart melts every time I look at her. I don't really have anger that is directed AT anyone. I just have this urge to say f*ck a lot--- which I don't do. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want to curse a LOT.
I don't get it. Life isn't that much harder yet. Truly. My nanny training has come in handy. Going out with two kids is a cinch. When Starbuck is fussy around the house (which really isn't often) I put her in the Snuggli, and we still go about our business. Of course, this makes my incision hurt, so I try not to do it too much.
As my friend Meems says--- This will pass, in time. Yep, it will. I'm still on my anti depressants, still taking vitamins, so I know it's gonna be ok. Oh yeah, and I still have my faith in God! :)
Just a plug for my friend Amber-- her production blog and her Etsy store can be found on my sidebar... I've been using the nursing cover she made for me--- IT ROCKS!!! If you're pregnant, considering nursing, whatever, check out what Amber is capable of! I'll post a picture of me modeling it soon. :)