Let me be the first to say that I was terrified at the thought of having a baby girl. Terrified. I love having TPJ. I love boys. Boys are easy. Boys are not scary. Boys are not hormonal creatures that love you one minute and hate you the next. Boys generally tell you why they hate you and get on with life. Girls are moody. Girls are scary. Girls are dramatic. Girls are fickle creatures. Or at least I was as a girl and teenager.
So when everyone asked me if I was happy to be having a girl, I would kinda smile and say, "I think so."
Now I know so.
Starbuck is a Mama's Girl. For example: Tonight, we've finished tucking TPJ into bed, and I'm "resting" with him for a few minutes. This is really our time for just him and I to talk, to cuddle, to ask and answer questions. He doesn't NEED me to rest with him--- we both just enjoy it. While we are cuddling, Starbuck and Aaron are outside, rocking on the porch. I can hear Starbuck screaming her head off because TPJ's window is open, to let the air circulate on this 90 degree day (which will lead me to the hot part of this post soon). So I go down, step outside, exchange a commiserating look with Aaron and say, "Would you like me to take her?"
As soon as the "Wo" was out of my mouth, Starbuck quieted down. Aaron looked down at her. I bent down, picked her out of his arms, and she immediately settled into me and fell asleep. I just put her down for the night. She's my girl.
Having a daughter is the most amazing thing. Please don't misunderstand me. I adore TPJ, he is the apple of my eye. There's a special bond between a mother and her son. But what I didn't realise (and perhaps I should have, since I am a daughter myself) is that there is an equally special bond between a mother and her daughter. I'm lovin it.
Now, I'm one heck of a hot mama right now. Our air conditioning is out. Won't be fixed til Friday. It needs a new motor for the heat pump. Let me tell y'all, that costs some moola. Aaron says I should be able to deal with the heat better, what with me being a Georgia girl and all--- but seriously, I'm from the mountains. The heat feels different up in the mountains. Might be the lack of smog and more trees, I dunno. But the heat is different and I suffer greatly here where it is humid and sticky. I take a shower in the morning and a shower in the evening some days. I do not like to be sticky. I cannot stand to go to bed sticky. And right now, it really stinks (HA!) because I have to get up once at night to nurse Starbuck. Nothing worse than nursing when you're hot and sticky. She doesn't like it either. Ick.
Oh! I have diagnosed myself as lactose intolerant. Lactaid on your cereal tastes pretty good. Denying myself ice cream does not taste pretty good. But the physical benefits of not having dairy are already apparent in my life. So that's a plus. But oh, ice cream. How I miss thee.
My friend, my very very good friend, Mimi, tells me I'm weird all the time. (Just so you know, this is a good thing, or at least not a bad thing. Meems is pretty weird herself, and most of the people we hang with and like are somewhat odd.) So, my question of the day is this: Am I weird? In what way? And to those who were at my house of Friday night--- DO NOT ANSWER IN THE CONTEXT OF MY ACTIONS ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! That night has been erased. :)