Friday, August 01, 2008

****WARNING**** ASS NOTICE*****

If you do not want to see the picture of my big bare ass at the end of this story, please be aware right now that it's there. OK? No porn accusations. Merely an illustration to the story.

We went to church camp tonight. Had TPJ's birthday party. He got a new game for the Wii, Clone Wars 2, two new webkinz, new clothing, Indiana Jones Legos, a spy listening device, and clothing for the webkinz. Clothing for him, which made me happy, but he took in stride.

But the real story of the night is not TPJ's 6th (WOW!!!!) birthday, or even how Starbuck ran from me when she first saw me (Nanny's girl, she is). No, the real story is the bruised ass that I have.

Now, how did I get this bruised a**? Well, my very very good friend Taggart mentioned that he had jumped off the waterfall and so had his 6 year old son. My godaughter immediately decided she wanted to do this too. So I told her she could go with Tag to jump. After we finished eating, we went down to watch them jump off the cliffs at the waterfalls. I immediately decided that I had to jump too, seeing how as Amber is 12 and had the guts to do it. I went and got my swimsuit and came back to the falls.

Now, lest you think we are talking a measly 10 foot drop or something like that, let me reassure you that it was at least 25 feet up in the air. And that's just the middle drop. I wasn't brave enough to do the long drop--- a good 45 feet up in the air. Now, I can't just walk to the edge and jump--- I'd never do it. I admit it. So I took a running start and JUMPED!!!!!! I had been warned to keep my hands up so that I didn't smack the water. I was so focused on this that I forgot about my ass. So my ass hit the water first. Oh wait. My left heel actually hit first, then my ass. (I'm liking using the a** word--- seems to fit the illustration of the story best)

Now, can I go just ONE time on something like that? Heck no! I went up again. I jumped again. This time, I managed to not hit with my entire backside. I did much better. I stayed in the water and swam for a while. I think the cold water helped my bruising, which is still pretty bad. So--- now to the pictures... you ready???

************************PICTURES REMOVED WHEN MY BROTHER USED COMMON SENSE>******** IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM, EMAIL ME****************

Please don't laugh at my arse. You can laugh at the bruises.... they're pretty ugly and haven't even started, really. The next week is going to be painful to sit, I can already tell. :)

4 comments:

Rachel said...

Nice a**!

Oh ... was there a story that went with those pictures? I just scrolled to the bottom (ha! "bottom"!) for the porn show ...

:)

Mellie Breen said...

Thanks for the warning. We came online to look and see if there were any birthday pictures and I had to make Aiden look away while we passed the a$$ to see the Yoda cake. :o)

Anonymous said...

Only you would post a pic of your bruised ass woman! Gonna have to spank it next time I see you ;)

QE

SWAD said...

I laughed,not at the a**, as it is a nice one, however bruised, but at the act that got you to that point. What are we going to do with you? Guess that's part of why we love you!