I would do laundry, but my fingernails are wet.
I would get up and get my own flavored water and TUMS, but my toenails are wet.
I would go to bed early tonight, but I have a Robert Jordan book to finish.
I would make popcorn, but a. my fingernails are wet, and b. I'm outta the good stuff.
I would write something interesting, but I'm uninspired. Plus, my nails are prettily painted and I'd hate to ruin that by tap tap tapping on the keys. :)