Saturday, January 21, 2006
My mama said that she thinks this baby is going to be a girl, and if it isn't, it should be.
She read my last few entries. Said it was how she was when she was carrying me. She giggled at my mood swings and everything else.
She also said that ear wax probably smells clean and fresh. I hope so.
My mama is pretty awesome, can I tell you that? I alternate between calling her my mom, my mama, and my mother. When I feel a little lost, she's my mama. When I'm talking about one of my best friends, she's my mom. And when I'm aggrevated by her, or feeling guilty, she's my mother :)
Mom and I have had our rough spots in our relationship. I think most mothers and daughters go through those times, don't they? Ours felt devastating to me, the four or five years that we couldn't seem to accept each other for who we were. Then we went to a few sessions of counseling, because I was pregnant with the Hethan and wanted to have a good relationship with my mother. The counselor said something that was so simple, it's a wonder we didn't see it. We fought all the time because we loved each other so much, and we were afraid that our love for each other would be rejected by the other, so it was easier to turn away first, before we were rejected. Wow. So I thought about it, and he was right. My mom is one of the people that I love the most, trust the most, and can get the angriest with :) Indeed, during those times, it was much easier to hurt her first, than to wait for her to possibly hurt me.
Anyhow. Mama also said that she hopes I get to have a daughter, so that someday I can have the relationship with her that Mom and I have now. That brought tears to my eyes. Must be the pregnancy. :)
Soon, I'll write an entry on the wonderful woman who is my mother in law, someone who taught me what my relationship with my own mom could be like-- for which I am forever grateful!