Friday, February 03, 2006

Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Boy.

Henry Thomas entered the world around 10 pm last night. I was induced around 1:30, and after six hours of mild contractions (well, the epidural makes them seem mild) I delivered our beautiful son into the world. He was 9 inches long and 9 oz. His skin was transparent, and rather bruised from his journey, so he was a bit purplish. He had 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes. He was absolutely perfect.

Aaron's sister is a Labor and Delivery nurse at the hospital where we had Henry, so she took care of cleaning him up and dressing him for us in his little blanket. She also made a foot and hand mold, as well as took pictures of him. He looked like a little old man, but so wonderful.

He was named after both of our grandfathers. We don't know if he'll be our last son, or our last child, so we wanted to honor our families by naming this precious child after two very wonderful men.

Thank you for caring.

It is my hope that I will begin to see the light at the end of this tunnel, and that the physical healing can now begin. I know that the emotional and mental healing have already started, and hopefully they will continue. It is a blessing to know that our son is in a better place, and that my body is safe from health risks. I am holding onto those thoughts, because they are so much better than the negative spin that I could put on things. :)

Just as a lighter note--- we thought about naming him Butch, since that's what Ethan wanted to name a little brother. Just couldn't do it :)

Another lighter note-- if you get my husband's sense of humor, and understand that he is in no way trying to diminish our loss, you may read this---Aaron's dad had been asking Ethan if Mommy was going to have a baby girl, a baby boy, or a puppy dog. Whenever Ethan would answer girl or boy, Grandpa would say, "No, I think Mommy's having a puppy dog." Aaron says we should tell Ethan that Pop Pop was right, that Mommy had a puppy dog, and give him a puppy. :) Now, there are variations on this, but the bottom line is, Ethan may get a puppy--- but
not from my body :) You see the humor? Have to have some humor, or else it gets too hard to breathe.


sarah cool said...

What a gift you are to me, sister. I don't know how else to say it. Know that I'm praying for you daily.

sarah cool said...

The Hethan should totally get a puppy. He can name the pup Butch.

kimmyk said...

Sorry to hear about your baby boy.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Laura said...

So sorry for you. And I second the puppy idea. What a wonderful family you have.

Moogie said...

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby boy. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Felicity said...

My thought is that delivering and wrapping the baby as well as having hand and foot molds will give you a sense of--something. Closure? Not sure that's the right word. But thank you for continuing to share with us and giving all of the commenters here the chance to share your burden and get a little perspective on their daily lives. Also, I vote for the pup anmed Butch, too.

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

I don't even know what to say. It breaks my heart that he's gone so soon.

I was thinking last night about what you could tell your oldest. The best I could come up with was that his brother was so sick that the doctors couldn't help him, so God helped out by taking him to live with Him.

Maybe you could name a star after your baby. Someone I know did that for her 3 year old when she lost her daughter during childbirth (full term, vaginal delivery after a c-section, ruptured uterus).
Even after all this time, Liam still looks for his sister's star and talks to her.

TB said...

You are in my thoughts and I'm wishing you peace and understanding.

Always Ashley said...

I think the puppy idea is great...cuz I love puppies. Now Ethan is too smart to get tricked ;), but I think he'll understand. Plus the cats need someone to beat up on.

kyra said...

i agree with sarah cool; a puppy named butch!

i am sending all my best thoughts to you and your family. you are a warrior woman and i admire you.

i am so moved by the foot and hand mold, for the obvious and profound love you feel for beautiful henry thomas and i grieve for the obvious and profound loss you are all experiencing.

mama_tulip said...

I'm thinking of you, your husband and your son. My heart goes out to you.

Dana said...

I am truly sorry for the loss of your precious son. You did give him a beautiful name.

As for the puppy...very cute. ;)

Catie said...

Hey Big Sister,

I'll be there in a heart beat to help you pick out a puppy dog. If you want I can bring Sami and your little man and my little woman can give the puppy a warm welcome home! I love you guys sooo much!!


Susan said...

What a beautiful name, and what a beautiful post.

And yes, get the boy a puppy. It might be good for all of you.

Cmommy said...

Jenette, thank you for sharing Henry's birth day with us. Many people are praying.

When any of my children receive a balloon, they send it to Sara. We also planted a dogwood tree in her memory. I love to see it bloom in the spring...she was also born in Feb. (w/PS).

I hope that you find the perfect puppy. "Butch" is good; "Noah" means "Comfort", maybe that's a nice choice, too.


Misfit Hausfrau said...

I am so glad you got to hold him.

I think a puppy and a star are fantastic ideas.


standing still for once said...

Oh my dear. Great gobs of love and (((hugs))))to you and your Aaron and Ethan. And, the same to Pop Pop who obviously has a grand sense of humor and silliness, perfect for a grandson to admire. This process of grief is a complex mix of laughter and tears, rage and joy, delight and despair. Be gentle to yourself and let your family be gentle to one another. Your Henry Thomas is blessed that the people who love him most in this world were brave enough and strong enough to not only walk through the painful process of his birth, but also that he will be honored by the time you were able to be with him to say good-bye. Your sister-in-law gave you a great gift of her care. My deepest sympathy to you all.

sozzled said...

I am again so v v sorry. Henry Thomas is a lovely name.

The idea of the puppy had me laughing out loud. I think it is wildly funny, although it might take a bit of explaining when Ethan gets older!

Dani said...

Jenette, I am so sorry for the loss of your Henry Thomas.

My baby girl passed on 4 years ago this March. Her name was Bailey and she was 5 months old. Time doesn't heal-- but it does make it easier to cope.

I am a fellow Ohioian. Please let me know if you need anything at all.

Jack's Raging Mommy said...

I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. I came here through the very touching post at Friday Playdate, and though I haven't been here before, as a mother my heart reaches out to you.

Kristen said...

My sister-in-law lost a baby boy around 16-18 weeks four years ago and she still has his foot and hand print; she too got to hold him after the birth. You will cherish that forever. My thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

Candace said...

First, I am so sorry for your loss. You will be able to heal and you will see the light at the end. Seeing my friends go through a similar situation makes me confident that all will be...not *well*, but all will *be* in the end.

I'm all about the breathing, so I completely understand that you have to have humor.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

mommyguilt said...

Jenette - I am just catching up since last week. I wanted you to know that I still have prayers and thoughts coming your way. I can feel the love you have for Henry and, even in his absence, it is something you will always carry and cherish.

You're right, though, it's time for the healing to begin. We are all here for you anytime you feel that the healing is just too difficult - or any other time.

We also would LOVE to see puppy pictures if Ethan gets is puppy.