Sunday, February 05, 2006

Breathing Room

It has been 3 days since we had little Henry. In some ways it feels like an eternity. In other ways, it doesn't seem at all real. I look at my pile of maternity clothes in the chair, with the boxes right next to them, and it seems unreal that I'm going to pack those up tomorrow.

And my breast milk came in today. The girls started filling up yesterday, but today they started hurting. So I made a decision on something that I've been mulling over for a few days. Even though it seems weird, seems odd... I'm going to pump my breast milk and donate it to a milk bank. There's one in Columbus, and I've contacted them about donating. When I had the Hethan, it was not unusual for me to pump 5-10 oz out of one breast while nursing at the other. I was made for nursing, I think.

So life goes on. I keep breathing. Aaron keeps breathing. The world keeps turning, and we're still on it.

We saw Walk the Line tonight. Good movie. Good vocals. I highly reccomend it. :)

I'm taking some time off of work. I wasn't sure about the doctor's orders on Friday when he gave them. He wanted me to take off a month. I laughed at him. So he wrote out orders for me to take at least 2 weeks, and to reevaluate after that time. On Saturday, I still thought he was nuts. But today, today, I think he might have a point. I think I'm going to need some time to bounce back from this. Each day is different. But we'll keep breathing.

Wow-- Family Ties is on Hallmark. Wow. I remember when I thought Michael J. Fox was the hottest guy around. Oh my. Am I showing my age? :)


Shan said...

What no mention of my Super bowl fiesta ? :(

Alisyn said...

Jenette, I came here via Misfit Hausfrau and I just wanted to offer you, for what it's worth, my most sincere and hearfelt wishes for peace and condolences. I am so sorry for the loss you and your family are going through.

I think that donating your breastmilk to the milk bank is an amazing gift. Thanks to you and your son, a needy baby will receive a priceless gift. You are amazing.

Always Ashley said...

OHHH...MJF, he's still a cutie. Bet you liked Jon Bon Jovi too!

Always Ashley said...

Commenting again...

Isn't that all we can all do...just breathe? Take a breath, take a step, and try to keep on keepin' on.

Felicity said...

I like the new look. I think donating your breast milk is a generous idea and also hope it's somehow healing for you to think of the babies you'll be helping. I always produced a LOT of milk too.
After my last miscarriage, I went straight away back to work and also asked that no one at work mention my loss. I think that was a mistake; I never mourned properly. I hope you are able to find and receive what you need during your time off.

Kris said...

I don't know if you remember me, I met you a couple of times in college. I just wanted to let you know that I am also thinking about you and praying for you. I have been ever since sarah mentioned you on her blog. I don't know any words to say that would give comfort in the difficult place you must be in, but from what I've heard about you, (from sarah) I know you are a tough and special girl and you are going to make it.
For what it's worth, I've been hurting with you as I read your blogs and I have also always enjoyed your sense of humor.
-Kristen Doig
PS. Nice background, that's the one I have been using too.

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

Awesome idea about the breast milk! If I could have afforded it, I would have used donated milk for the twins.

Wanna hear something gross? I recently found out that my great grandmother several generations back was Queen Victoria's wet nurse. Ew. Somehow those fab lactation genes never got passed on to me.

And yes, I remember the days when MJF was a hottie. Strange that he doesn't look much different! But now I think he's not so hot. Hmmm.

Misfit Hausfrau said...

Wow Jenette--what an AMAZING and precious gift you are giving to a baby in need. I have never heard of anything so generous!

Susan said...

Jenette, I am so awed by your generosity and kind heart. You are remarkable, and I hope that while you are breathing you find the peace you are seeking.

And--I think Michael J. Fox is even cuter now than he was on Family Ties. Parkinsons and all, he has aged well.

sarah cool said...

Heya girlfriend. If you want company on any treks up to Columbus, let me know. I think taking some time off work will be a good thing.

MJF is the hottness. As well as Patrick Dempsey. Ahhh...

Chad Burdette said...

thank you again for letting me crash there for the weekend. As for the milk thing donating it is probably better than your other use you came up with on Sunday(don't ask you really don't want to know) ;-)

anyway you guys are still in my prayers. take care


Mellie B. said...

Our NICU ( uses milk from a milk bank in Columbus, OH. Good for you! Love you mucho.

Catie said...

Lay It Down
I’ve been looking ‘til my eyes are tired of looking
Listening ‘til my ears are numb from listening
Praying ‘til my knees are sore from kneeling
On the bedroom floor

I know that You know that my heart is aching
I’m running out of tears and my will is breaking
I don’t think that I can carry
The burden of it anymore

All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are slowly slipping through my folded hands

So I’m gonna lay it down
I’m gonna learn to trust You now
What else can I do
Everything I am depends on You
And if the sun don’t come back up
I know Your love will be enough
I’m gonna let it be, I’m gonna let it go
I’m gonna lay it down

I’ve been walking through this world like I’m barely living
Buried in the doubt of this hole I’ve been digging
But You’re pulling me out and I’m finally breathing
In the open air

This room may be dark but I’m finally seeing
There’s a new ray of hope and now I’m believing
That the past is the past and the future’s beginning to look brighter now

‘Cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands

So I’m gonna lay it down
I’m gonna learn to trust You now
What else can I do
Everything I am depends on You
And if the sun don’t come back up
I know Your love will be enough
I’m gonna let it be, I’m gonna let it go
I’m gonna lay it down

marti (standing still for once) said...

You are too, too good and kind. There is a special place in this world and the next for a woman who can turn her family's tragedy into nourishment for someone elses. In the olden days someone who had excess milk was called a wet nurse. Today we just call them "goddess."

Keep being kind to yourself. And, I vote for an entire month off.

mommyguilt said...

I agree with Marti - Your unbelievable generosity shows what a huge heart you have. You will be able to help another family and are fantastic, amazing, and truly an angel.

And yes, definitely, at least a month off.

Kelli in the Mirror said...

I'm trying to think of a way to say you're amazing and awesome that hasn't already been said. What a blessing to so many babies. I hope somehow it gives you some comfort to be able to do that.