I have nothing to say, not really. I mean, it's been a busy few days--- kids over, fraternity officer's meeting, visiting in laws, Aaron's first MAJOR trial starting today, but nothing of great import or interest has happened. I just want to read my own writing. And I just want to get words out in the hopes that they will dispel the faint but persistent mists of depression that seem to hang around my head.
My kid spent the night with his grandparents last night. I spent most of the day over at their house-- Aaron was working on his trial all day yesterday and all evening, so I decided to stay out of his way. Concentration is easier without distractions. :) I got home around 10 pm. Cleaned up from the fraternity guys some, and hit the hay around 11:30. Woke up around 9:15 this morning. Ahhhh.... how nice.
Bleh. Bleh. Nothing to say. BLEH!!!!!
As I was driving home last night, sans child, the faint but persistent mist of depression began to gather. I recognized the change in the weather very well. The Son became blurry behind the hazy mist. I slid in my "The Man from Snowy River" CD, and lost myself in the rise and fall of the music. Tears began to fall from my eyes and my voice began to scream, to rail against the mists of depression. Something was happening in my spirit, with the Spirit. A struggle, a battle of wills, the knowledge of inevitable submission, the denial of that submission. For 45 straight minutes, I cried and yelled and beat the steering wheel. I would have punched something, but I was driving and am firmly against punching windshields while I drive. Go figure :)
Today the mist is still there. Yet the Son is clearer today than it was yesterday, and it won't be long before the weather is clear again and I can see even more than before.
Still pregnant. Not nearly as sick as I was with Henry. I guess this is a good thing, since I hate puking. :) Can't seem to get attached to this baby, this pregnancy, but I think we'll discuss that in counseling today :)
Off to get the day under way!