My spirit is so heavy tonight. I've made so many wrong choices in the past year, so many just recently. My spirit is grieved.
I started to make amends with God, started trying to do the RIGHT thing... then got scared and lonely and sidetracked again... Oh God, Oh God, I need you.
It is so hard to do the right thing, it's so hard to know that you're forgiven sometimes. Because even though God forgives you, and have mercy--- other humans forgive you---- it's so hard to forgive yourself.
I want so much to make the choices that are pleasing to my God. I want so much to glorify him. I really really do. Why do I find it so hard to do so??? The spirit is willing, but the flesh, oh God, the flesh is soooo weak.
I'm so heavy tonight.